Swimming in Quicksand
A Daily Journal of Survival
By Carol Joynt

Jan 08 - July 08

Photos at Photos Central
Contact carol@nathansgeorgetown.com

 

THURSDAY, JULY 17 ... I missed it here yesterday and have only two excuses: writing a piece for NYSD, which you can read right here, about our visit to Providence, RI. It has a lot more pics than we were able to post here last week.

My other excuse? Just the blues. When I get them I figure it's better to hide in my cave and will the dark mood to pass. But as Nathans clock winds down, and unemployment looms, the bouncing back from depression gets tougher and tougher. Plus, now that I'm back in DC, every third person I pass on the street either shares a Nathans story and laments the restaurant's end, or asks if I've come up yet with the $18 million, as if it is a plausible sale price. I don't know. Maybe it is. But real estate experts I talk to say it is not. Also, they say the economy is too awful for anyone to make that kind of investment at this time. The official assessed value is $6 or 7 million. A doubled asking price does not go down well with banks. Suffice it to say, no one has offered to partner with me to buy the building, and most professional property gamblers just laugh. Possiby they are laughing at me because the future is so bleak.

I'm also not sure whether to resume The Q&A Cafe in the fall. Perhaps I should use that time to job hunt. Producing the show involves most of my time - and I love love love doing it - but nothing else gets done during our "season."

So, these thoughts weigh me down against a backdrop of a very uncertain economy. What I hear in the restaurant biz - where two prominent Washington restaurants closed in the last month - is that costs are rising fast but no one can raise prices, and the squeeze is on. This extends to retail, too. But someone else told me that The Source, for example, where dinner for two is easily $300, business is booming. My hat's off to them. On the other hand, DANIEL BOULUD, who had planned to open here, has pulled out of the deal.

Blah blah blah. I'm depressing myself more. Friends tell me everyone should see "Wall-E," and then everyone will feel better.

TUESDAY, JULY 15 ... My son got his driver's license this mornng. Im proud of him. (Privately scared.) I may have to live on sedatives going forward.

He's been dedicated in learning how to drive. Since January, when he first got behind the wheel, he's done most of the driving when it's the two of us in the car. Twice he's shared the driving to New York and back. He's done Beltway, GW Parkway, 270 and 66. He's driven in torrential rain, crazy rush hour, twisty country roads, routine city traffic, etc. Still...if I wasn't completely gray before, this will change soon enough. In August he goes off to what I affectionately call "crash camp," but is in fact a camp that teaches teenagers how to avoid accidents. I wish they had that camp every week.

Anybody who is the parent of a teen, or who has been, knows how I feel today. Last night after light's out I kept going to his room and saying, "you know, I don't want anything to happen to you." Back to my bedroom for 5 minutes and then back to his room. "You know this is a huge responsibility. You're a good driver but there's peril out there." And so on. Finally, he said, "Mom!"

We think cutting the umbilical cord is a simple deed done at birth, but emotionally it never happens. My arms can't be long enough to protect him wherever he goes. I yearn to throw a shield over him, but can't. I have to let him go and then be strong, but it can be tough home alone, knowing he's out there somewhere on his own. If his father were here I would simply dump all my anxiety on to him - as I always did - and he would set me right. Instead, alone, I have to keep it inside. I know when my son goes off on his own in the car I will not feel okay, really okay until he's back home. I wonder how long that will last.

So, when I think about the anxiety of my son out driving in a car, I think about the mothers of children who are fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Any worry today might be better focused on the banks and whether my bank will remain solvent. Imagine if your bank went down? Geez. These are trecherous times. ABC News has a list of the most troubled banks. Is yours on it?

 

TUESDAY, JULY 15 ... My son got his driver's license this mornng. Im proud of him. (Privately scared.) I may have to live on sedatives going forward.

He's been dedicated in learning how to drive. Since January, when he first got behind the wheel, he's done most of the driving when it's the two of us in the car. Twice he's shared the driving to New York and back. He's done Beltway, GW Parkway, 270 and 66. He's driven in torrential rain, crazy rush hour, twisty country roads, routine city traffic, etc. Still...if I wasn't completely gray before, this will change soon enough. In August he goes off to what I affectionately call "crash camp," but is in fact a camp that teaches teenagers how to avoid accidents. I wish they had that camp every week.

Anybody who is the parent of a teen, or who has been, knows how I feel today. Last night after light's out I kept going to his room and saying, "you know, I don't want anything to happen to you." Back to my bedroom for 5 minutes and then back to his room. "You know this is a huge responsibility. You're a good driver but there's peril out there." And so on. Finally, he said, "Mom!"

We think cutting the umbilical cord is a simple deed done at birth, but emotionally it never happens. My arms can't be long enough to protect him wherever he goes. I yearn to throw a shield over him, but can't. I have to let him go and then be strong, but it can be tough home alone, knowing he's out there somewhere on his own. If his father were here I would simply dump all my anxiety on to him - as I always did - and he would set me right. Instead, alone, I have to keep it inside. I know when my son goes off on his own in the car I will not feel okay, really okay until he's back home. I wonder how long that will last.

So, when I think about the anxiety of my son out driving in a car, I think about the mothers of children who are fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Any worry today might be better focused on the banks and whether my bank will remain solvent. Imagine if your bank went down? Geez. These are trecherous times. ABC News has a list of the most troubled banks. Is yours on it?

MONDAY, JULY 14... Happy Bastille Day today for France and the French here with us in New York, Washigton, elsewhere. Big doings. There will be a party at the Maison Francais in DC. In New York yesterday they had a two blocks long party with music, food, airline tickets, stuff, but what stood out were all the concessions making fresh crepes.

Took a little walk after last night's end-of-trip dinner at Bilbouquet, and it included a stop inside the newly renovated Plaza Hotel. It's definitely not the old Plaza anymore. We will have to find a new word for flash. It's like South Beach meets the 1890s and South Beach wins. Even the venerable Palm Court, with its ceiling and marble still intact, has had the flash wand waved over the decor. Chairs with backs so high they could be at The Delano.

Had my favorite high end NY lunch yesterday - at the counter at L'Atelier Robuchon. Here's the good news: better than ever. Here's the bad news: the Four Seasons Hotel, where it resides, has decided to close the restaurant for lunch. What a dumb move. I like the Four Seasons but they repeatedly make decisions that are corporate friendly rather than patron friendly. That lunch was one of the great civilized opportunities in NYC, and it attracted a special type of customer, many of them on business and traveling alone. It was a way to eat a great lunch alone but not feel weird sitting solo at a table for two. The counter solved that problem. Yesterday, the customers around us were incensed. They wanted to stage a protest. My guess is that would be hopeless. Where customer complaints are concerned, the Four Seasons often is deaf.

My guess is Robuchon will be out of the Four Seasons as soon as it's possible to extricate under terms of the contract.

SUNDAY, JULY 13 ... There's nothing to compare with a Sunday morning walk in Central Park in mid-summer. I started in the low 60s and had my coffee with the seals in the zoo. Paused to watch the ducks have their breakfast in the pond at the Loeb Boathouse. Sidestepped the dozens upon dozens of dogs romping together in the Great Park, where roadies broke down the stage after last night's JON BON JOVI concert before more than 50,000 fans. Not to be outdone by the dogs, the many hundreds of runners competing in a morning race provided a challenge as I tried to cross through them from the sparkling JACQUELINE ONASSIS Reservoir to Fifth Avenue, and then 90th Street. "Just weave your way," advised a race official with a megaphone, making it seem so doable.

I love this city, and it's especially pleasant after Providence, which ably was the appetizer to this world class entree. Usually I come from another city to New York and the comparison is pointless. But not with Providence. It's an emerging city, reborn, revitalized as brilliantly as the smart renovation of a great old house. Talked to a man yesterday who's wife graduated from Brown several years ago. "You should have seen it just ten years back," he said. "Completely different. Almost hopeless. That's how much they've turned it around."

Last night at dinner with DANIEL BOULUD, the great chef and also great friend, I found myself urging him to go up there. He'd been to the iconic Al Forno and knows the owners, of course, but I said, "Everywhere there is an interest in food and a push for inventiveness and excellence. It doesn't always work, but the effort is in your face." I used words like "youthfulness," and "verve."

So, now New York has me. It's a love affair without balance. New York's always giving to me, and I'm taking, and not giving back much - well, the hotel tax, perhaps, but I'm talking big league stuff, like the writers and composers and filmmakers and artists and designers and architects who have poured love on this city for decades. That's giving back.

Daniel got some critical knocks for his new place, Bar Boulud, on the West Side across from Lincoln Center, but the restaurant has a cool vibe and the food's outstanding. It's not "Daniel" or "DB" or "Cafe Boulud." It's a separate concept, less formal but still chic, a homage to his French hometown of Lyon. If you love pate's and sausages and other charcuterie, with mustards and other condiments, this is the place for you. The gazpacho is made the way it's meant to be made, always a pet peeve with me, and it's delicious. Not a bunch of salad tossed in a blender with tomato juice. Authentic gazpacho, rendered from many ingredients, including bread and oil, and cooked before cooled.

I'll say this for New York. As mentioned above, last night more than 50,000 people packed the Great Lawn for the Bon Jovi concert. Still, there were enough thousands left to pack the restaurants and outdoor cafes. Along every street we walked after dinner the businesses were jammin'. That's an encouraging sight to see.

SATURDAY, JULY 12 ... Very sad to hear the news of TONY SNOW's death. We met a few times but I cannot claim to know him. However, I admired his transition from one Bush Administration into the radio business and back into another Bush Administration. I listened to him on the radio from time to time. Spencer and I felt like he was with us on our cross country road trip a few years back because in a glut of conservative talk on the radio out West, his show was the one we listened to when we weren't tuned into country music. Also, he was a voice from back home. I went to hear his band at a club one night, and he was great on the sax. I danced every set.

He was, to my mind, the best thing that happened to the current Bush White House, and everybody did like him. He tried to earn as much extra money as he could on the speech circuit, and that struck me as valiant, given his failing health. I feel for his family and his many, many friends.

Off to NYC this morning after one more blueberry muffin and one more lacrosse game. Also, all the Ironman competitors are swarming - the race is tomorrow - and let me tell you, these are some intimidating specimans of manhood. There has to be a new word for "fit" to describe this kind of physical prime. Gosh, I hope steroids aren't in the equation. I want to believe physicial excellence can derive from exercise and diet, because that's what I tell my son all the time. I'll be telling myself the same thing next week after this particular food journey is over. In fact, I said to him last night, "Fair warning, when we get home I'm going way down on the carbs, fats and sugars. Just so you know." He said, "that's okay. When you diet we still eat really well." Who knew?

I got asked two interesting questions from a loyal reader. What kind of shoes do I wear for all this walking? I wish I could say a pair of hot Jimmy Choos, but the truth is in summer I wear one of two pairs of walking sandals, both astonishingly unattractive and unfeminine: either the flat bottom Keen walking sandals that are like Perellis for the feet, or my new goofy MBT's, out of Switzerland, that have round bottoms and yet make me feel light-footed, almost springy, and do wonders for posture, muscle tone and endurance. The latter work best for a serious walk, like a power walk, and in workout clothing. The Keen's are best for general touring, etc., and can come in under the radar in restaurants, etc., and look okay with normal attire. But neither shoe is going to turn on a fetishist, unless he's truly pervy.

Also, I got asked if I do research before heading out to explore a new place. Yes. Loads of it. Combination internet and bookstore. For food I use a few sources: roadfood.com, Zagat, and Fodors "Talk" forums. Also Mobil Travel Guides. The web is great for museums and historical sites and what's going on in the moment. The rest I leave to discovery, chance, accident. And friends, too.

FRIDAY, JULY 11 ... Picked up dinner tonight from a Providence "tradition" - Haven Bros. Diner. It's in a trailer. It shows up near city hall at 5 pm and stays parked until the wee hours of the morning, serving up scrumptious (at any hour) hamburgers, hot dogs, fries and shakes. If you check out the pic at right you will notice the white plastic table for three. A nice touch. The tall young man in the yellow shirt is my darling lacrosse player and son.

An interesting day, which began with the best blueberry muffin ever at a little Swedish spot called Cafe Choklad, and a mid-afternoon application of tattoos, plus a visit to an art museum and a good lunch.

Cafe Choklad is at the foot of College Hill near the river. I've been stopping in at least once a day since we arrived. On our first day here I got a yummy sandwich of Havarti cheese, cucumbers, greens and apple on whole grain and nut bread, and easily the world's most dense and rich and fierece chocolate cupcake. I planned to have only a nibble of the cupcake but devoured the whole thing. Returned yesterday and this morning for blueberry muffins. OMG. A thing of beauty. Plus they have good coffee. They have a lot that's good, but all I can handle is one muffin (though today also had a bite or two of cinnamon bun).

When not eating I walked, focusing on the so--called "financial district," which is home to both the oldest and newest office buildings. It's fascinating to walk among them, to look up at the juxtaposition. The streets below are narrow, like Wall Street, and the buildings will make you feel very small. The older buildings, from the 19th and early 20th century, are big in bone structure and volume, if not height. The newer buildings soar. Lots of glass, and one or two are designed to reflect the image of the older buildings off their facade.

There's an old downtown, too, which is really only a couple of blocks long with one Irish pub and a strip joint, with gentrification all around. It felt like time stopped there about 1947. I wandered through the old Biltmore Hotel, admiring the eleaborate detail of the lobby ceiling, with its huge chandelier, and the ancient elevator that lifted people 17 stories up to the grand ballroom. Outside, some streets are cobblestone, some are pavement. Some sidewalks are brick, some are concrete. I walked back and forth across the many bridges that span the river. I noticed that under the bridges there are big bins packed with firewood. Also, a boat came along filled with some of that same firewood. What's that about? Maybe it's used for the city's signature Water Fire shows. Seriously, they have these occasional exhibitions of performance art in which the water park and the river are used as a canvas of fire and light and music. I'm sorry one is not happening while we're here.

Downtown is the home of Pot au Feu, a little French bistro that was a favorite of JULIA CHILD. It's in a basement with brick walls and floors and squat windows that let light in from the street. It's cool in summer and has to be the coziest place in the city on a winter's day. They were busy but the hostess was able to find me a table. I had Soupe Creole, Grilled Salmon with a Romaine salad, and Crepes with Apple and Caramel. All straightforward and good. The whole lunch, with a glass of good French Sancerre, and coffee, with tax and tip, cost under $40, which strikes me as a fair price.

That meal set me up perfectly for the walk to the art museum of the Rhode Island School of Design, and 90 minutes or more there wandering among different eras. While I loved the collection of 18th Century American furniture, particularly the pieces from Rhode Island, and silver, too, and the European paintings, my favorite room was the one devoted to American 19th century artists often associated with the Hudson River School. This is my favorite school of American art, and the offerings did not disappoint: ASHER DURAND, JOHN FREDERICK KENSETT, GEORGE INNESS, THOMAS COLE, MARTIN JOHNSON HEADE, WILLIAM BRADFORD, FITZ HENRY LANE, WINSLOW HOMER. How's that for a little after lunch entertainment? In the room next door were JOHN SINGER SARGENT and GEORGE WESLEY BELLOWS.

The museum is the perfect size. Large enough to to satisfy but small enough not to exhaust. It cost only $8 to get in. It made me wonder, why do we contribute so little to spend time with great art and yet one ticket to a rock concert can cost upwards of $125. Nothing against a rock concert, but where's the logic in that disparity of value?

Well, I floated out of the RISD museum into a beautiful afternoon. Blue sky, white puffy clouds, that ocean breeze. Stopped into a tattoo parlor and got "try em out" tats to see what I feel and think about being branded. Hahaha. The teenage son is going to freak out when I show up this evenig at lacrosse camp. Hahaha. Mom's gone round the bend.

Last full day in Providence. My focus today will be the Rhode Island School of Design. They are hard by Brown, with many buildings hither and yon, but with a museum smack in the middle of it all. Then probably off to explore what they call "downtown," but by DC standards is a boutique sized downtown and well designed. They have old buildings and new buildings and the architects of the new buildings seem to be chosen with some kind of sense of taste and scale. Can't really say that about DC's new stuff, which often just seems fat, lacking character and designed mostly to max out the allowable extreme of street frontage. Whenever I drive down K Street it has all the dimension and charm of the caverns in the first Star Wars film.

But here the buildings range in size and style - and the ones with style have real style - and they don't fight with the old buildings. The old and new appear integrated and happy together.

They do have the misfortune of a mall in the middle of town, with one of those cheesy names like "Providence Place." I groan. All the usual crappy stores, too. What a waste of space. Urban centers do not need malls. It's the sumo wrestler in the middle of a corps de ballet. I poked my head in the mall and it is just as boring, ordinary, dreary, uninviting and dumbed down as any other mall. Can we pass a law against malls in cities? Restrict them to well outside the urban limits? Maybe only on the moon?

I'm actually in a much better mood than that rant would indicate.

THURSDAY, JULY 10 ... I get a kick out of our hotel here in Providence. In addition to the sex toy option on the room service menu, they leave these sweet little sprays on the pillow at night. There's a facial spray (oridinary enough), and a pillow spray (fetishy), but our favorite is the foot spray. I mean, how new century to think of the feet! The lacrosse player in the family, who comes back to the hotel each night a mess of bruises, is fond of the foot spray. As am I too, but then I've been a foot advocate for years. They are such a neglected and abused part of the body.

Not to get too TMI or pervy, but for years I've liked to wash my feet just before bed. (But if you can get someone else to wash them, do that.) Why? It's like Ambien without the Ambien. For some reason, having clean feet will make you tumble into dreamland like a newborn. Add a little scented powder for extra measure (ah, pleasure).

So, this bizarre hotel here in Providence is onto the feet thing. I have no idea what ingredients are in the foot spray, but it smells soothing. They leave truffles on the pillows, too, (I hide them in the drawer with the Bibles) and they have a room - like a romper room - where you can get five different flavors of M&M's. Just scoop them out and bring them back to your room.

It's restaurant week. We just found that out tonight over dinner at the very handsome Mill's Tavern, which I would describe as a very polished pub. The place was half empty, which was a surprise because it's good looking. We commented to the waitress, "how can this be restaurant week? Usually that kills restaurants." She said, "Oh, this is busy." I'm perplexed that this city wouldn't be thriving this time of year. It's so simpatico, with the tree lined streets, the lovely parks, water everywhere, green green grass, tolerable temps, breezes, interesting restaurants. Hmmm. What's that about?

I walked for a few hours this morning. Mostly College Hill. Visited the home where the late J. CARTER BROWN grew up, which was a sentimental visit. Carter and I did some good work together, he was a friend and inspiration, and I miss him. I especially miss his intervention in the planning of how monuments are distributed around Washington. He had a keenly tuned sense of restraint. That went to the grave with him.

Tomorrow is not planned. Imagine that? I'll figure it out tomorrow.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 9 ... I'm just getting to know Providence, but the first impressions are good. Charming neighborhoods, heaps of cool restaurants, history at every turn. Still, too bad Route 95 runs through it, not to mention a river and the railroad. Don't really mind the latter two, but the highway is a drag. The locals find ways to distract, though. The room service menu at our hotel includes an entry for champagne, an "intimacy kit," and "a can of Reddi Whip." Can only guess what's in the kit, but I would want the whipped cream to be fresh whipped. Aw, I know, the details.

We visited Bristol, RI, today. Now there's a town that fits all the fantasies of the ideal all American small town. My God, even the line down the middle of the main street is painted red, white and blue. Yes, a little over the top, but they also have some of the most beautiful views of Narragansett Bay. We visited the Herreshoff Museum, which stirred lots of memories of when I crewed on a NY50, Spartan, in the West Indies. All the Herreshoff boats are beauties. Every one. For lunch? Wieners at the original "New York System" in Providence, plus coffee milk. We drove way out of our way to find this notable little nook, but it was worth it. And don't all them hot dogs. They are wieners.

Lacrosse all afternoon into early evening, and then dinner at Al Forno. Speaking of legendary, it easily is the most famous restaurant in Providence and probably Rhode Island. It lived up to all the advance hype. Outstanding appetizers and pasta and dessert. Clams Al Forno, salad of Roasted Beets with Avocado and Arugula, Bread Gnocchi with Tomato Sauce, Baked Shells with Asparagus, Cream and English Peas, Deepdish Pie of Blueberries and Peaches ... all of it, A+.

Tomorrow I will need to walk at lest 5 miles.

TUESDAY, JULY 8 ... We had no means to post to the internet yesterday and so forgive the delay in getting up an entry. It was not for lack of trying. But now we're back in business. I'm about to go off to have my last sunset rum drink in Newport, alas, but do check out today's Washington column on New York Social Diary. It's a dinner with the former President of France, VALERY GISCARD D'ESTAING. Read it here.

MONDAY, JULY 7th ... There's a good reason why JON MOSS is the manager of Nathans. Well, many reasons but one of the big ones is that he knows I roll with bad news. Don't like it. Prefer the good stuff, but owning Nathans is not about walking along sunny paths and smelling the roses.

When we had our chat this morning he said he had bad news and wondered if he should wait to tell me. I paused. A huge pause. He said, "No, don't worry. It's not the animals." (Because, seriously, family, pets and home come before Nathans). I said, "then bring it on."

Well, it's just more property taxes and the city wants them paid by September ... the usual. we pay taxes all the time. We are not scofflaws, or whatever it's called. But Nathans property taxes are huge and so we shovel the city money as we have it. We make it, we give it to the city. We make it, we give it to the city. Rent, taxes, payroll. Rent, taxes, payroll. Oh, yeah, we buy food, too, but the big stuff is spelled RTP.

Summer is the toughest time to come up with the extra scratch to make fat tax payments. We'll figure it out. That's what I said to Jon. That's what I always say to Jon. "We'll figure it out. We'll find a way."

I don't resist the bad news. I guess I actually assimilate it. Given my location as he spoke to me - sitting in a green adirondack chair on the dock at Newport Shipyard, staring at a bright blue sky and a hunky guy folding a spinnaker into its bag, having just walked two miles to have breakfast at Belle's, well, I was in a good place for assimilation.

What else can I do? I'm not going to rob a bank. I don't have a gizmo that makes money. We will serve good food and provide good service and hope customers come in bigger numbers than usual for summer. We'll figure it out. We'll find a way.

Now, I'm going to the beach and then a lacrosse game. For a few minutes I want to clear my head of Nathans, because then maybe I can see Nathans more clearly.

SUNDAY, JULY 6TH ... It was a misty gray day in Newport yesterday, but not bad. It felt like New England weather. Good for walking and flowers. We drove up to Tiverton for lunch at a new place called The Boat House. It's on the water and difficult to find but worth the hunt once we were there. Nice detailing in the beadboard walls and mahogany trim, and the big windows with water views. The same owners have The Moorings and 22 Bowen adjacent to Bannister's Wharf in Newport. From there to Gray's for ice cream - black raspberry and fresh peach. Then we were off to lacrosse camp. Excellent weather for lacrosse.

This evening I got to do a little bit of Cinderalla at the ball (alas, minus P.C.) - a private dinner dance at a club on the beach. Everybody there knew each other (except for me) and it was lively and collegial. We sat under an open tent that was charmingly decorated with colored lights in its ceiling and around the edges, making it whimsical. A nice touch. A faint rose hue from the lights gave faces a tan and youthful glow. My hosts are Washingtonians who also hang in Newport and they introduced me around to their Newport friends. I loved dining on the beach, with the suuf lapping just off in the shadows. There was a dance band, too, and we danced old-school moves like the Fox Trot and Cha Cha. I didn't know people still danced the Fox Trot and Cha Cha. Gads. But it was fun. I expected DORIS DAY and ROCK HUDSON to step onto the dance floor.

A woman told me about the club and its long history and begged me to please not mention its name or the people who were there. Not to worry. I was on my own time and enjoying myself. They are very protective of their privacy of up here, but I don't think they need to fret. TMZ does not have a Newport bureau and I doubt one is planned. Cinderella got home to bed before her car turned into a canteloupe.

SATURDAY, JULY 5 ... Here's a great way to start the day in Newport, RI - with breakfast at "Belle's," dockside at the Newport Shipyard. Not only is it an excellent place to eat, with an incomparable view (boats and water and the Newport bridge), but right outside the door are the yacht racing equivalent of Formula One race cars, Kentucky Derby race horses, GISELLE BUNDCHEN and JUDE LAW, tiger woods, MICHAEL PHELPS.

In other words - the world's fastest, sleekest, best-looking and most famous yachts. I shared breakfast with "Speedboat" and "Il Mostro," both top contenders for this fall's round-the-world Volvo Ocean race. Speedboat just won the Newport to Bermuda race. Being in their company made me very happy. As much as I'd like to sail on them, I can patiently and contentedly stand and stare at them. They were up on ways, getting maintenance, thoroughbreds in repose. Stunning. Nearby in the water were an assortment of old and new sailing yachts, some only 70-feet, others more than 150 feet. My faves are the old wooden boats, which always remind me of the year I spent crewing on a 1918 vintage Herreshoff NY 50, Spartan, in the West Indies. What a time that was.

Last night we watched the fireworks over Newport harbor while standing at the end of a commercial dock, with a few other people and lots of fishing boats for company. It was a great view. Lobster dinner before that at the venerable White Horse Tavern. Newport has changed substantially since the America's Cup left town, but for sailing nuts like me it still is a mecca. You have to walk further down the docks to find the boats, and Thames Street has been degraded by t-shirt shops and other junky tourist fare, but the air is salty, the breeze licks and the music of halyards is never too far away.

Now, we're off to lacrosse camp. My son does the playing, I do the driving, though in two weeks he gets his license and we'll be doing is own driving. I'll write about that nervous breakdown (mine) in due time. He did half the highway driving from DC to Newport. I did the part from Newark to New Hayven, which involved getting across George Washington Bridge and beyond NYC. He did the other miles.

One more thing about Belle's. People often ask me if I could open my own restaurant what would it be like, look like. Belle's is a good example. Like Cora's Coffee Shop in Santa Monica, Black Eyed Susan's on Nantucket, C.F. Folk's in DC and L'Atelier Robuchon in NYC, it has to do with great counter eating, quality, the highest quality of excellent fresh food, good cooking, character, intimacy, comfort. That's what I like.

FRIDAY, JULY 4 ... Happy Fourth. We're headed north.

THURSDAY, JULY 3 ... A reporter sent an email this morning to ask what's on my mind, and here's what I replied:

1. That JOHN MCCAIN is boring. Maybe he's not in real life, but when there are stories about him in the newspaper or online I tend to pass over them, and when he's the topic on talk TV I tend to fast forward or change channels. I did not do that with RUDY GIULIANI, or HUCKABEE. McCain is boring the way MITT ROMNEY is boring. I don't know why that is, but he is.

2. That this bad economy, which is growing worse, will change us more than 9/11. We don't know it yet. The full impact is still down the road, but our lives are changing while we're living them; our perceptions of what matters, of what we need, of how we'll spend our money and when and where, and how we will draw into ourselves more as we learn to cope with having less. This does not include the billionaires. The divide will grow wider and deeper between the haves and the have nots. If you see someone driving an SUV or mini-van, they are dumb, delusional or rich beyond the grasp of a tanking dollar.

3. That the war is still going on and awful, no matter how much the republican spin machine wants us to believe the surge has changed everything. Google "Afghanistan" and read the stories.

4. What did happen in that Prince Georges County jail cell? It feels like a story line out of great cop fiction, and yet there is something utterly not surprising about what happened - whatever it was.

That's what I reported to the reporter. But these things also are on my mind:

5. The tenants in Nathans building who worry what's going to happen with the lease and all. They ask me, "what do you know?" I know nothing. Though I do know we have the best tailor in the city, "Do's Custom Tailor," where Mr. Do works hard and runs a good business and is always happy to see his customers. It's quality work. We have an expanding community of gypsies, too, who will tell you your fortune, and a man who rents tuxedoes, and a student tenant, who we rarely see but we know he's upstairs somewhere. And then Nathans, of course. This is life at Wisconsin and M.

6. That I'm grateful to ED SOLOMON of the Advisory Neighborhood Commission and DENISE CUNNINGHAM of the Citizens Association of Georgetown, for their vocal support of efforts to keep Nathans operating.

7. Someone asked, "why hasn't the Post business section done this Nathans story and the outrageousness of an $18 million price tag on the building?" Beats me. Maybe it's too local.

8. Last but not least: gotta pack. We're off tomorrow on a road trip to lacrosse camps. My son will play lacrosse and I'll camp nearby. You know I'll report from the road on everything that's interesting and delicious.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 2 ... It may be Fourth of July holiday week, but you can order your Halloween costume today right here.

Get your copy of today's Georgetown Current newspaper, which has on its front page a story by JILLIAN BERMAN about Nathans and its lease and the landlords and the $18 million. It covers most of the many complex details and pulls the story together well. Really, not another word needs to be written until the landlords find their dream buyer. We will continue to tread water and hope for the best. But let me say this, everyone at Nathans is grateful for the many calls and notes and emails from people asking what they can do to help. Come in and enjoy yourselves over a drink or a meal. Hang out with friends. Enjoy the view. Talk to the bartenders and servers. Meet JON MOSS, who runs the place with the support of a great staff. Pass a compliment back to chef LOREDONNA LUHRS and her crew in the kitchen. Oh, and leave a million dollar tip.

TUESDAY, JULY 1 ... And so begins the lazy summer season. Remember when summer really was lazy, before 24/7 cable TV, cell phones, computers, Expedia, stores open every day of the week, jobs that demand 150% of us? I remember when summer went on for months and months, or felt that way, and days seemed long, warm and fat. Now they are swift, hot and thin.

On NYSocialdiary.com today I have a column about the Folklife Festival on the National Mall. It's mostly a photo story, but worth a look right here. I particularly like the bits about Bhutan.

This week Nathans finally begins serving hamburgers that are house made, house ground, from a mix of fat, lean and grass fed beef. You will notice the difference. This is the result of my journey to NY in the spring to sample a variety of burgers and came away knowing the only way to go was with fresh, house-ground beef. If we can make our own potato chips from scratch, and our own pasta from scratch (one of the few who do), we can certainly make our hamburgers from scratch.

Which reminds me. Washingtonian Magazine does a piece on what they call the "classic" Bloody Mary. Phooey. I'm not a BM drinker, but when I do have one there's only one way to go: fresh. The best time of year for a Bloody Mary is in the late summer, early fall, when the tomatoes are gorgeous. Grab a bunch of them fresh off the vine (preferably beefsteak), chop them up into squares, put the pieces in a pot with some fresh herbs and lemons, a little salt and pepper to taste, and simmer until you have liquefied tomato. Then strain through a seive and chill. That's the way I make Bloody Mary's, usually with Stolichnaya vodka for the oily bite, a stalk of fresh celery, and some parmesan cheese toasts on the side. Try this. You'll thank me and you'll never again have a Bloody Mary any other way. This way is the true "classic" BM.

Any drink that's made with canned or processed juice will always have too much sodium, and that overwhelms the palate. The same rule applies to drinks made with orange or grapefruit juice. It's only a little more effort to squeeze the juice yourself and the result is all the difference in the world.

For example, for Blinis, poach some white peaches (and a little sugar) - they are in season now - and strain and let chill. Add to the sparkling white wine of your choice. Presto.

When I make rum punch I use fresh orange and pineapple juice, Falernum (a syrup that is a staple in the West Indies), Bitters, and a "broth" I make from boiling nutmeg, mace and cinnamon. These ingredients are combined with either Mount Gay Rum or Goslings Black Label. Or a little of both. Just add lime wedges and a grating of fresh nutmeg and you are transported to a beach in Barbados.

MONDAY, JUNE 30 ... If you missed the "Fox News Sunday" profile of The Q&A Cafe, you can watch it here.

SUNDAY, JUNE 29 ... Watch the TED SORENSEN interview on YouTube here.

A few questions that were asked of me after the airing of the "Power Player" segment on Fox News Sunday. When CHRIS WALLACE said I produce the show at my own expense, is it out of my pocket? No. We cover the costs of the show with the small fee ($35) we charge at the door. Usually we break even. Sometimes we come up short. We do have a few generous sponsors and are trying to get more. This will help us to keep going and to improve production values and keep the fee where it is. As for my own pocket, there's nothing in it anyway.

Chris said the building is for sale. How much? My landlords said they will take bids starting at $18 million dollars. Add to that another $2-3 million in renovation costs. The DC property tax, which increases annually, is $55 thousand a year at the moment, and the insurance is another $50 thousand, plus BID taxes. The building is 2500 square feet on on ground and second floors, and about 1000 square feet on a third floor, and there's a small basement.

How did I watch the piece? At home with my son, the dog and the bird; my face buried in a sofa pillow half the time. But FNS did a good job. They hit all the main points and got them right. I'm impressed they fit all of that into under two minutes. After half-watching, I took a long walk.

Tomorrow I get to TRY to get my car fixed, and continue the now month-long PROJECT to try to get my oven fixed. Thus, any sense of power will be fleeting. The fastest way to feel absent of any power in, at least, this city in this decade is to attempt to get a service call from ANYONE.

Between thunderstorms, sudden monsoons and occasional blue sky moments of searing sunlight, we caught "Wanted" yesterday evening down at the Loews. Without getting into the political debate, movie violence is a taste. Some of us can take a little, but not a lot. There's the cartoon variety and there's the graphically realistic type, too. "Wanted" is the high tech type where you get to see bullets move slo mo through the air, make contact with flesh and bone, see - again slo mo - bits of bone and flesh and blood fly through the air, and then more of the same a few minutes later. Plus, ANGELINA JOLIE's body marked up like an AAA road map. But all that taken into account it got boring. I'd heard this the night before from a group of teenage boys, but figured they might be grading it on the extent to which Angelina reveals herself (not much if at all), when they said "it's not a good movie." But they were right. Bring on, "Mama Mia," I'm ready to virtually do (I think) Greece for a couple of hours, and watch some talented people sing and whirl.

Also, yesterday, made a visit down to the Mall for the Smithsonian's Folk Life Festival. Very hot, and that's rough, but worth a visit if only to go to the beautifu Bhutanese temple made by native craftsmen, where the Monks inside play music, pray, burn incense and tie a colorful string to your wrist on the way out - for, as the Monk told me, "good luck." Luck? Luck? Where? I'll take some good luck. Also, the temple experience was cooling. The nearby Texas ribs looked and smelled good, too.

Speaking of luck, I check my horoscope every day. It comes via email. I read it and consider it and then usually forget it. Here's a little bit of today's: "...you're in a planning mode as you scheme and dream about the possibilities of many tomorrows. ...even if your strategy isn't concrete, it's part of your process to make the future seem more tangible to you. By bringing things down to earth, you'll be able to manifest dreams that still seem impossibe today."

This time they've read my mind. I scheme and dream even in my dreams. What will happen? What do I do? Where are we going? You can get your daily horoscope from tarot.com. It's harmless fun.

Do get TED SORENSEN's book, "Counselor," for reading over the coming holiday weekend. And, if you can, watch the interview with him at The Q&A Cafe, airing on NewsChanel 8 tonight at 11, and next Friday on DC Cable/TV-16.

And remember to check out NYSocialDiary.com. For a random selection of my columns ... please go to caroljoynt.com.

SATURDAY, JUNE 28 ... Please remember to watch NewsChannel 8 this evening at 6 and tomorrow night at 11 for the Q&A Cafe appearance of TED SORENSEN. Also, tomorrow morning on Fox News Sunday with CHRIS WALLACE, there will be a profile of The Q&A Cafe as the "power player of the week." Yes, we're very proud. Honored and proud. This kind of national attention does not happen overnight. FNS airs locally on Channel 5 at 9 am, and then in the evening on the Fox cable channel, which is 360 on Direct TV. It's also repeated on radio on FM 90.1.

The city today put out this urgent crime bulletin for Georgetown, Hillandale and Burleith:

The Metropolitan Police Department is investigating several sexual assaults in the Second District that may be related.

The first incident occurred on May 16, 2008 in the 2400 block of
Huidekoper Place, NW.
The second incident occurred on May 25, 2008 in the 3000 block of
Newark Street, NW.
The third incident occurred on June 26, 2008 in the 2400 block of
Tunlaw Road, NW.

In each case a female victim was awakened in the early morning hours
by an unknown male suspect who gained entry to their residence by unknown means. The suspect has either attempted or sexually assaulted the victims.

The suspect in each case is described as a white or Hispanic male, approximately 5'10" - 6'0" in height, with a medium build, wearing dark colored pants and a collared shirt.

Anyone with information about any of these cases is asked to call
police at 202-727-9099 or 1-888-919-CRIM[E].

FRIDAY, JUNE 27 ... This is what would have made HILLARY CLINTON's joint appearance with BARACK OBAMA fun: if it was staged like a Publisher's Clearinghouse event. At the end, Obama would have pulled out a picnic table sized check made out to HRC for $11 million, or two checks, one to HRC and one to MARK PENN, and then balloons and confetti, BILL and CHELSEA CLINTON jumping onto the stage, lots of hugs and giddiness. Then I would have taken Hillary's smile as sincere. Then the event would be believable. Watch your back, Mr. Obama. However, the media bought it. The analysis, so far, has been a win for Hillary. She's been graded as sincere and supportive. My skepticism has to do with whether this is the media's counterbalance to their earlier perceived anti-Hillary bias, or whether they honestly believe her. Since they aren't up againt her anymore, it's now easier to be for her.

I'm just very skeptical. Not cynical, but skeptical. I want to believe the unity is for real, but I'm not buying it entirely just yet. I've heard HRC is negotiating serious money - and jets to campaign events, and more - from Obama in return for her support.

EARLIER...Today I sent this email out to the mailing list. It explains itself:

"Somehow the stars aligned in our favor, or was it just Chris Wallace, but on this weekend's edition of Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace, the "Power Player of the Week" will be (drum roll)... The Q&A Cafe!

When he showed up to interview me for the segment, Chris asked, "Do you want to know why we're doing this?" I nodded. "I watch the show every Saturday on Channel 28," he said.

So, please, if you don't already, please tune your HD TV's to your local Fox channel this coming Sunday morning at 9 a.m. The "Power Player" segment happens at about 9:53 into the show. It will repeat on the Fox News cable channel at 6 pm (locally in Washington, Comcast Channel 37, nationally on Direct TV 360), which translates to 6:53. My advice: watch the whole show.

This is a sweet boost for The Q&A Cafe, the only talk show on the planet that happens in a corner saloon, a show that's now 7 years old, and it wouldn't have happened without the support of you, our friends and fans."

Unquestionably good news. It's why I've been mysterious about goings on this week. It was like, is this really going to happen? Now, barring the unknowable, it's scheduled to run and so I feel comfortable sharing the good news. When the piece runs, if you watch it, I'll be interested to hear your feedback. My instinct is this can only be good for The Q&A Cafe, our little "liferaft" in the ongoing saga of whatever it is that will happen with Nathans.

THURSDAY, JUNE 26 ...The conversation with TED SORENSEN from Tuesday's Q&A Cafe is now up on our YouTube channel here.

A very hectic week, which I will explain either this evening or tomorrow morning. No, someone did not write me a check for $18 million. It has to do with something else, but also The Q&A Cafe. Regarding the $18 million price tag on Nathans building, hopefully if someone is going to step up and buy the place they will do it in the next several weeks, so that I will know what's up with our future. All of us at Nathans - but especially me and my son - twist in the wind as we wait to find out what the landlords want to do. For seven years we've been asking for a new lease, or out of the lease, or some resolution of the existing lease, and we're all very eager to know our fate. We live on the edge, not knowing whether to go left or right. People ask me constantly whether I've begun job-hunting for next year, but it's tough to apply for a job when you can't pinpoint your start date, and it's also tough to start a job if at the same time you are owning a business that is open 7 days a week from morning to late, late night.

Anyway, enough feeling sorry for myself. Gotta go out there and get it done. Watch the Sorensen interview. He's something special.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 25 ... Check out New York Social Diary.com today. My column is about the phenomenon of men loving men in Washington, and not to do with sex. You'll see what I mean, here.

TUESDAY, JUNE 24 ...Well, it's our last Q&A Cafe before the summer hiatus and I, for one, am looking forward to the down time. We've had a great run of guests, made some news, enjoyed mostly sold out audiences, a nice experience on local television, also YouTube, and with TED SORENSEN today there's no question we're winding up on a high plain. We started that way, too, with DAN RATHER. I'm altogether pleased and looking forward to the fall season. I'm hoping, too, that we'll still have Nathans as a venue, but one never knows. If my landlords sell the building between now and September 1, chances are we'll be doing the show, ah, where? In the street. How about the middle of Wisconsin and M? That's the heart of Georgetown, for sure.

One fan of Nathans and the show offered us her government rebate check. She also wants to start a web address to raise money for Nathans to buy the building. You have no idea how that touches all of us at Nathans. We've received many, many messages from people who want to do something. They ask if we can petition the Mayor. Well, the Mayor visited me privately to talk about what can be done, but we both know we have to wait on the landlords. It's their game, their call, their building. They can do whatever they want. What they want is a big name retailer with big $$$$.

Anyway, on to other stuff. How do I know it's summer, the silly season? One of the biggest stories of the day - at least in terms of play - is that CHRISTIE BRINKLEY is grabbing her estranged husband by the ear to drag him into court so she can continue to extract revenge for the humiliation he served on her by having affairs with much younger women. Oye. Whether the predictable media glare will harm her children seems not to be a consideration. Christie is ready for her close-up. She should get NAOMI CAMPBELL as her trial lawyer. Whatever network produces "Survivor," should consider a "Suvivor: Supermodel Edition," where the contestants have to survive weeks on a desert island with revenge seeking and anger challenged supermodels. Let's hope they don't settle out of court so we, in our summer haze, can enjoy the tabloid spectacle of the behind the scenes shenanigans of the Hamptons and Manhattan.

MONDAY, JUNE 23 ... I've been a little slow getting to this. Sorry. Busy or checked out. Yesterday I sort of checked out. Today, busy. We are over sold out for tomorrow's Q&A Cafe with TED SORENSEN. If you have a res and can/cannot make it, please call JON MOSS.

One of the aspects of Sorensen's audio book that I've particularly enjoyed - apart from it being in his voice - is that I can take it with me as I've walked around, retracing some of the footsteps of the Kennedy years. Many of those footsteps are right here in Georgetown. When Sorensen writes about having dinner at JOE ALSOP's, I can walk in front of the house where that dinner happened. When he mentions visiting KATHARINE GRAHAM at her home, I can stand outside the gates and look at that home, imagining. I'm done with both the book and the audio version of same. Loved them both.

Today I drove over to Arlington Cemetery to visit the Kennedy gravesite. This is something I've not done in years. I wonder if Sorensen visits often, if at all. He says that to even think about JFK still makes him sad. Would he visit the grave, or would that be too painful? I stood there, thinking, wondering what Kennedy would want to ask his former friend and collaborator.

Driving home I thought, "I shouldda taken a picture." Particularly for my NY Social Diary column. So, got home, packed up cameras, and retraced my drive to Arlington. Walked up to JFK's grave, and snapped away. Beautiful day. The pics turned out well.

SATURDAY, JUNE 21 ... This is without question my favorite day of the year. Multo daylight. Tomorrow is sadder, as the days begin to grow shorter. By 10 o'clock I'd been to Baltimore and back and now plan a long walk spent listening to TED SORENSEN. I'm both reading his book, "Counselor," and listening to him read his book. To hear him tell his story is rich, as his voice adds dimension to a lot of what he tells us. In fact, it's like listening to him privately tell me the story of his life. I love it. Then, I go to the book and re-read the same stuff. Or vice versa. Some passages that I've initially read take on new meaning when I hear him speak them. This is my idea of a fun day. Sunshine. A good book. A walk. My darling boy is at lacrosse recruiting camp and likely having an ideal day himself, too. The bird and dog, well, the bird is preening and the dog is sleeping. That's what they do.

A good meeting with Black Op yesterday as we strategized over lunch how to proceed re Nathans. Sadly, my piggy bank comes up short on the $18 million needed to buy the building (plus $2-3 million renovation, and addtional $$$ for taxes and insurance.) So, I'll look for a new location, but it has to be within a few block range of the existing location or the hot dog people will sue my you-know-what. Also, someone has to invest the money to open the new Nathans. These are all simple challenges, right? A walk in the park. Just another normal day for me.

That's why I'm gonna go hang out with Ted in my head. Like SCARLETT O'HARA before me, I'll sweat Nathans tomorrow.

FRIDAY, JUNE 20 ... No surprise, the item about Nathans in the Washington Post yesterday generated email and phone calls. Most were along the order of "!!!!!!" about the $18 million quote for the building, or "yes, start a public campaign to raise the money," or "Nathans must be saved." All of them endearing. My tip top favorite, though, was the person who wrote to congratulate me on selling Nathans for $18 million dollars. Oh, if it were only so. I'd be planning that Italian road trip right now, not to mention getting fixed the things in my house that are seriously unfixed.

Here was an encouraging message: "... maybe it's just not meant to be. I think something better lies in your future. Georgetown may need Nathan's, but I don't think you and Spencer do! Things happen for a reason. You wait and see!"

The emails that come in about "Innocent Spouse" are the messages that usually touch me the most. They are from people who have suffered loss, or own a small business that's getting crushed by the big guys, or who have recently divorced, and so forth. This one arrived from a man yesterday, and is a stand-out. I have XXX some details to provide anonymity:

"As a former resident of Arlington, and a frequent patron of Nathans, and a three-time reader of INNOCENT SPOUSE, I almost feel like I know you.

I know you've heard from men and women about losing their spouses and my story is no different from so many. After 18 years in Arlington, I was offered and accepted an executive position at XXXX in Manhattan.

M wife was a corporate attorney at XXX (who let her) keep her position and work out of their NY office. It was a stroke of good luck. We moved to NY in July 2002. (She) died suddenly from a undiagnosed glioblastoma in September 2002. We had not even unpacked. She was thirty-nine years old. Our kids were just 7 and 3. I’ve stayed on at XXX and have been able to keep my house. Our kids, now 13 and 9, are flourishing.

The first time I read INNCOCENT SPOUSE was in 2004. I've re-read it twice since then. Your book always makes me feel better, Carol. I’ve even stolen one of your lines and I refer to myself in this way:

I'm a father and homemaker, in my mid-50s, who likes a little wine with dinner, can't bear cigarette smoke, is not good with strangers and likes to be in bed long before the bars close.

Hope to stop by Nathans this Summer when we’re down your way. God bless you and Spen. And thanks for all your wonderful writing.

With admiration and thanks..."

Well, that made my day, my week, and is why I keep "Innocent Spouse" available online. It comforts me that it comforts others. Walking through traumatic loss is a nightmare no one should have to walk through alone. Read my Tuesday June 17 diary entry for details.

THURSDAY, JUNE 19 ... Hey, folks, if you read in the Washington Post today that my landlords offered to sell me Nathans for $18 million - first reported here a week or so ago - please know that this is not the same as my actually having $18 million, or even $8 million or $1 million. Okay. I could possibly pull together $8 thousand. Maybe. With help from a bank or friends. But, to quote AMY WINEHOUSE, no no no. I do not have $18 million. Let's see. What would I do if I had $18 million? Hmmmm. Probably be on an extended road trip in Italy.

I will buy a lottery ticket on Saturday, however. (JESSE MILLER wrote to say winning "isn't going to happen." Pooh.)

This morning, MICHAEL FARRELL read the item to me over the phone. I said, "If only Roxanne quoted my laughter. As in 'ha ha ha ha ha.'"

The "barkeep" part confuses an important component of Nathans existence - the staff. It's not me who is running the place. I'm only owning it. I have a wonderful general manager, JON MOSS, and staff - all 55 of them - who run the place, keep it on the rails, buffed up, who are down there, cheerful, eager to serve. They are the proud barkeeps. They deserve the credit. I'm grateful for each one of them. Without that staff Nathans wouldn't open each day. On my own, I would be clueless. They are Nathans. You, too, as the customers, are Nathans.

Of course, I wish she'd mentioned "interviewer" along with "society blogger and barkeep." My most important professional baby is The Q&A Cafe. I didn't create Nathans, but I did create The Q&A Cafe. Seven years of creation. That little show is what gets loads of my focus and time. As for "society blogger," that is a happy and paying part of my resume, though I write more about Washington in general than "society" in particular in my column on New York Social Diary. If by "society" the inference is socialities and parties, my main thing is cool events, places and interesting and substantive people who thread the fabric of this town, whether they are a president, a candidate, a curator, a sports figure, a senator or congressman, a restaurant manager or chef, a diplomat, a visiting artist or movie star, a journalist, a power broker, or a host and hostess. You can check out a random selection of my columns at caroljoynt.com.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 18 ... Took a walk by Holy Trinity this beautiful morning just after the start of the TIM RUSSERT funeral. Of course, it was surrounded by black Suburbans and Escalades and Cadillacs, and guys in dark suits smoking cigarettes, guys with ear pieces, and cops, some TV crews, and onlookers. It wasn't a circus. Anyone could walk by. No heavy-handed security. What was a nice touch were the loudspeakers set outside, broadcasting the high Catholic funeral mass. The part I got was the music. A gorgeous soprano voice filling the spring morning with a sad hymn about angels and wings and love and the hereafter. Probably a famous singer, probably a famous hymn, but I took in the sound and the feeling. I leaned against a tree and thought about Tim, and then continued my walk with the music fading in the background.

The memorial service likely will end around 5:30 or so. Then expect the starting gun for the race to see who will replace Russert as bureau chief and moderator of "Meet the Press." Many already have jumped the gun. It's accepted that no one person can really fill his roles as he fashioned them. He created his own domination of the bureau and the show. He redefined both jobs and made them fit him, rather than the other way round. I can't think of anyone who is Tim Russert II. He broke the mold. NBC has to make a new mold. My first candidate was BILL CLINTON. Maybe pre-primary campaign Bill Clinton. But that's more clever than practical.

I'm not shy about my admiration for CHUCK TODD. He's a lot of genuine talent. But is he a moderator? It's a unique role with a unique skill set. I would make Chuck bureau chief and SUSAN LASALLA his deputy. She could be bureau chief, actually, with Chuck as an under study. She knows more about NBC than NBC knows about itself, plus people love her. NBC always has been a place where the staff love each other. At least outwardly. I've worked at all the nets, and NBC stood out as the most collegial. CBS was the exact opposite, and ABC was in between.

Important to note: before Tim Russert it was not typical for a bureau chief to also be on air talent. In fact, that would have been considered a conflict of interest. NBC has to decide whether to go back to convention or continue that unusual model.

Filling Tim's "Meet" chair isn't critical right now. The story - the campaign - is bigger than the show itself. Anyone can host and the story will drive the ratings for now, until the election is over. But by December, NBC would need to have a confirmed replacement. I wouldn't want to be the guy who replaces Tim. I would want to be the person who replaces the guy. Or woman. What woman, though? Who's dynamic and exciting? Not many. Tim sucked all the air out of the NBC room, so to speak.

Regardless of the successor, the ratings will drop. It just works that way. Maybe not fair, but reality. CBS is probably wishing they had a revamped "Face the Nation" in the works. "This Week" will gain a lot of the "Meet" audience. Fox News Sunday will gain, too, but it is so in its own sector that it's tough to evaluate it in a group with the others. I watch all of them every Sunday. All of them. Not at once. I record them. Sometimes I fast forward through the politiician interviews, because those can be fairly predictable, due to the guests, but I listen to every word of the roundtable discussions.

TUESDAY, JUNE 17 ...As the frenzy of tributes to TIM RUSSERT begins to calm down, I find myself thinking more of his widow, MAUREEN ORTH, and their son, LUKE RUSSERT. I know the frenzy has been good for them, as will the wake today and the funeral and memorial service on Wednesday. It's the busyness that will get them through this week. The hard part comes when the busyness stops.

I remember clearly the immediate days and weeks after Howard's sudden death. The shock lingered, like an echo. It would go and come and go. It would take the form of acceptance and then just as suddenly turn to disbelief. The worst parts were the troughs of unbearable loss. The yearning would shatter me. I'd collapse at night, exhausted by my grief, and then wake in the morning, momentarily refreshed, until it hit - this was not going away. My life would be forever changed. It was real. He was gone. No matter what I did or thought or hoped or cried for, he was gone. The emptiness was tangible. It was an abyss. The solid foundation of my existence had collapsed beneath my feet. I was in free fall. Beside me was a five year old boy, who was shattered in a different way, and his strange questions and innocent grief compounded mine. He didn't understand what happened. He had little boy questions. "Can we die, too, and be with Daddy?" I'd compose myself to be his rock at bedtime, and then he would cry and I would come apart again. When he was finally asleep, I would go to "our" bedroom and sit on the edge of the bed and stare, still as a stone. Fogged in. Or I would get in the shower, crumpled in a ball on its porcelain floor, and sob under the cleansing wash of water.

The jags of crying came like rogue waves. I cried so hard. The tears came from my head, my stomach, my feet, my fingers. I've never known such purging. Then, remarkably, I'd be better for a while until it hit again.

There were responsibilities to face: finding money to live on, the bureaucratic red tape of death, my full-time job at CNN, being handed my husband's business, the IRS, the simple maintenance of our existence. These were reality and, facing them alone, they overwhelmed. At the low points I thought it would be easiest to pull the curtains in my bedroom and stay in the darkness; not try to regain equilibrium in the world out there, not try to keep going. But that wasn't in my nature, and I had a little boy who needed me to get up each day and survive. Finding my way in the world was cruel, unfair, painful. There were kindnesses, but there were more instances of rude awakenings. I was vulnerable and clueless. I yearned for a strong shoulder, to be held by a man, protected, pampered and rescued, even kissed, but he wasn't there.

For a while I coasted on my past life. I was a bird that had been shot out of the sky, still in forward motion, unaware my wings had no more flight in them. I couldn't see the coming fall to earth.

Friends were good and helpful and critically important. They were my distraction, my crutch, my therapy. The best ones never dropped me. I felt still married for the longest time. In my mind I was a married woman whose husband simply wasn't present. The married friends kept me in the club for a while, but it's hard work, and slowly they pulled away. I'd become a "one" and that upsets the balance. It's just a fact. When it hits that you're really no longer one of them, the moment is profound. With a young child I still had the daytime playdates, the weeknight "girls' night out," the birthday parties and school events, but the weekends were like being shot into outer space. Silence. The phone stopped ringing at 6 p.m. Friday and didn't sound again until Monday at 10 a.m. That's when I rejoined the club, but on a limited membership.

I've often thought about what's served as a defining symbol of "life after" the loss of my husband. I have one, but it's peculiar. It's that moment on a Friday or Saturday night when I'm walking alone or walking the dog and stop to cross at the corner and there's a car at the stop sign, and in it is a man and woman, husband and wife, a couple, dressed for a party or dinner out, and they are alone together and often silent, but it's a very married, connected, secure and smug moment, and I can taste it and smell it and feel it and want it back for myself so badly. Within me, it's a wisp of madness. And then they drive on, I cross the street and snap out of it.

But hey. We move on. We survive. I got this email yesterday out of the blue from a woman who worked with me at CNN: "I remember when your husband died and I remember seeing you in the Bureau one day afterwards. You were very sad and looked empty. I felt for you. You look beautiful and happy in all of your pictures now! Good for you!!"

I hope that's true.

MONDAY, JUNE 16 ... My column on New York Social Diary today is a look at last week through the stories of two men: JAMES A. JOHNSON and TIM RUSSERT. You can read it here.

EARLIER...Some people have asked about the funeral and memorial service arrangements for Russert, and since this information is public I don't mind repeating it here: 11 a.m. Tuesday there is a family wake at St. Albans School, at 2 p.m. the wake opens to the public and runs into the evening. St. Albans is on Wisconsin Avenue next to the Washington National Cathedral. There is parking in an underground garage.

Wednesday there will be a private funeral mass at Holy Trinity Church in Georgetown - on 35th Street near 1789 Restaurant - followed by a private memorial service at the Kennedy Center. The memorial service will be broadcast live on MSNBC. Private means one must be invited to be able to get in the door. Best to watch it on TV, which is my plan.

SUNDAY, JUNE 15 ... I have been literally out of it for the past 48 hours ... that is if "it" is the cyber universe. No cell reception at all. We took off for the hills of Rappahanock County, Virginia, for the lovely wedding of the MARC SCHEFF and CHLOE COCKBURN, daughter of good friends ANDREW and LESLIE COCKBURN. It rained buckets. Rain, wind, thunder and lightning, but I don't think anybody noticed in a serious way. We noticed only while driving out and the rain and wind were so intense we we had to chill on the side of the road. But at the wedding itself, even though guests were under tents and umbrellas, the overall mood was joy, and joy always trumps bad weather. There were so many Harvard grads under the tent we probably could have re--invented the weather patterns if required. Maybe that's why the rain stopped, the skies cleared and all was well for midnight fireworks. The dancing went on until dawn.

A few of us ended up at the nearby Inn at Little Washington, where we drank awesome red burgundy wine and ate equally awesome cheeses, plus also awesome cherry and peach cobblers. I mean, awesome awesome. The hour we departed the Inn was awesome, too. One o'clock in the morning. We stayed with friends JOHN and BEVERLY SULLIVAN in the Little Washington 'hood, and sat up talking at their home into the wee hours.

The quiet in the country is remarkable. It makes for sleeping like a baby. Or maybe it was the dark, stone, downstairs room, the big firm bed, the piles of quilts, and the head full of scrumptious burgundy.

The morning was gorgeous, of course. All the bad weather long gone. Up early. A good walk around town. Breakfast al fresco and then the drive back to Washington.

Happy Father's Day to all you fathers.

FRIDAY, JUNE 13 ... FRIDAY, JUNE 13 ... Here's a little bit of interesting trivia about TIM RUSSERT. It's about a house. Once upon a time Tim and his wife, MAUREEN ORTH, lived in a house on Woodley Road that they bought from CHARLIE ROSE. It was the same house Charlie bought from TOM and MEREDITH BROKAW. The house went from Brokaw to Rose to Russert. You know the expression: if those walls could talk. Indeed. That house has vibes to last a long time.

Tim and I first met at that house. He and Maureen had a party for Charlie and his girlfriend, AMANDA BURDEN, when Charlie was in the first blush of his PBS' "Charlie Rose Show." Earlier, for four years, Charlie and I worked together at CBS News "Nightwatch," and now we were about to work together again - him in NY hosting his new show and me as his Washington producer. BILL CLINTON was the new president, and Tim was in his first year of hosting "Meet the Press." As a courtesy, Tim invited Howard and me to this little party for Charlie. Here's what it was like to meet Tim Russert for the first time. Imagine opening a bank account and learning you already had money on deposit, courtesy of the bank. When you met, Tim provided that same advantage in your relationship with him. You had goodwill and access on deposit. And friendship.

Charlie was quite taken with Russert, and he tutored me on his friend. Certainly the bits about the Moynihan/Cuomo background, Buffalo, his strong bonds with family and the church. Tim was in focus for me before I began to know him personally. Another big fan of his was JACK CARMODY at The Washington Post, who would talk about him fondly during our weekly lunches. Over the years I'd see Tim here and there. A party. An event. In a TV studio. He treated me like a club member because I'd done a year as a producer on "This Week with David Brinkley," before Tim took over "Meet." Also, I'd done "Nightline." He was curious about the science of Sunday shows, and talk shows in general, and was interested in my thoughts about what worked and what didn't. That was flattering.

His greetings were always exuberant, like a little boy running for office, eager to make the other person feel important - even if occasionally it was only for the vote. Hey, it's Washington. He was a master of the game. It certainly felt good to the ego. If we needed him on the "Charlie Rose Show," it was only a matter of asking and he'd be there. Many years later, when I asked him to appear at The Q&A Cafe, it was the same thing. I asked, he appeared, and of course it was a sold out show. And quite amusing, too. You can listen to it here.

Russert ran the Washington bureau of NBC News with a strong hand and strong will. He was indisputably the man in charge. That's okay. Most people respect a benevolent dictator at the controls. Someone has to be in charge. Tim did not shrink from the job or its responsibilities. That he managed also to host "Meet the Press" with the depth and breadth he brought to the show is quite a testament. He changed all the other Sunday shows. By being as tough as he was, he made them tougher. He also brought to the format the technique of throwing the guests' words back at them in text or video form. Everyone does that now, but Tim did it first.

This is not to say there weren't grumbles about him. Anybody that dynamic, that self-assured, that outsized in personality, is bound to have detractors. Much of it was envy. Some of it was just old school resistance to change. It was different, and controversial, to have someone from politics come into journalism in such a central role in 1984. But he paved the way for GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS at ABC News, and PETE WILLIAMS at NBC, and others. ROGER AILES, who runs Fox News, flipped from politics to a management role in media, too. Tim may have invaded TV news from politics, but he made TV news better, too, and became an icon.

Russert was an occasional customer at Nathans, standing at the bar with Maureen, or waiting for her. He liked that the three big TVs were tuned to sports, and the general atmosphere of a corner pub.

When I heard the news about Tim's death my first reaction was shock and my second was how pissed he'd be at missing this election. I'm pissed, too, because more than any other commentator, I was looking forward to his coming golly-gee-whiz coverage of the '08 campaign. So it's sad, of course, and stunningly so, but it's also this: we were robbed.

EARLIER...By all means, take time today to visit the Obama anti-smear website. The link is here. This is a good idea. Put the smears out there. Don't let Fox News control them, as in their attempt to have people believe the Fist Bump is terrorist code. Geez Louise.

I did this last night: I returned home from muchos mojitos with MYRA MOFFETT and wrote a blog highly influenced by muchos mojitos, and so woke up at 4 a.m. and erased the whole thing. I have a rule of not writing if i've had anything to drink, even one glass of wine. It's the same rule I have about driving. No driving or writing if drinking. I had 2+1/2 mojitos, which for me is 1+1/2 beyond the range. Haha. But the mojitos were that good and especially so on a hot night. I can do that about once every two or three years and then I swear off alcohol forever. Today is my day of swearing off alcohol forever, until maybe next week sometime. Or tomorrow.

Got up this morning at 6:30 and worked out, did weight training, walked, had breakfast and sat in the downstairs window with the view of the little patch of garden out front... and watched a rat do his morning business. A little nibbling, a little scratching and then some sunbathing. A rat! A rat in my front garden! The nerve. He was not particularly attractive, and had some size on him. Not cat-big, like some of our Georgetown rats, but still big enough to unnerve me. I rapped on the window and he ignored me. I rapped again. He still ignored me. I opened the door and he skittered down a hole in the garden. Oh, so he plans to move in. An hour later I had American Pest Control here. I'm a humanitarian when it comes to animals, but there are limits.

For those of you who keep track of the Nathans saga, my landlords have given up the hunt for a tenant and have decided to sell the building and they have come to me to ask if I would like to be the buyer. Hmmm. The starting price is $18 million. I think I should set up a website and collect contributions from the nation - like a political campaign - and we can all own Nathans. All I ask in return is that you keep me there until my on is through college. As I say, after that I can sell pencils. Anybody have a few extra million to shoot my way? I'd be grateful. I will explore this. But, no, I don't have a spare $18 million banging around in my savings account.

THURSDAY, JUNE 12 ... I'm sorry. I've been a bad blogger the past 48 hours. I dont have a good excuse. My only excuse is that I've been quietly coming apart at the seams, which happens sometimes. I have reasons. Some are chronic - end of lease, unemployment, raising child alone, no money, big debts, bad economy, no future; others are random - where is he? Am I crazy? Uh, oh, why didn't I look down to see how deep the water is or how high be the cliffside???

This evening I met my dear friend MYRA MOFFETT for Mojitos at Citronnelle, and it was fun. But, you know, I don't let on that I've got the quiet scream roiling inside. After all, Myra has her own. Besides, who wants to sit outside on a lovely warm spring evening, with an aundance of good food and drink, to listen to a whiner? We all have a load to carry.

JAMES A. JOHNSON. The man of the tabloid hour. Google his name and you get one million returns. It wasn't so a week ago.

Please, don't make jokes about his toxic income. Seriously, he's one of the Washington good guys. and I say that as someone who had no clue who he was when we first met a couple of years ago. To read the New York Times or Washington Post or Wall Street Journal you'd think he was GILBERT ARENAS crossed with JACK ABRAMOFF. You know, fame and tarnish mixed together. Truth is he walks among us in shades of gray and beige. That's his art. And, he's not a bad guy. Hardly. Of all the DC "insiders" Obama could have tapped for any role, Jim is one of the appealing choices. First of all, he's about the only big shot I've met here who doesn't talk about himself. You have no idea the rarity of that. Plus, he's got a quiet elegance. Also hard to find here. He's smart and sharp and politically clever, but it's the other qualities that set him apart from the pack. He's the kind of "insider' you'd want in an Administration. He makes it not about him, which is why he checked out as fast as possible when the smoke started to come in under the door.

I would have liked him to stick with it a little longer, but he's no fool. His work was done.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 11 ... Take a moment to visit New York Social Diary today. There is a Washington story about DC's "Opera Ball," which happened this past weekend. And yesterday there was a story about how some presidents coped with the heat waves of an earlier era. All available right here.

MONDAY, JUNE 9 ... Let's discuss the fist bump. Somehow today I heard that certain individuals in the right wing think it is a gesture of terrorism. Hahaha. And I here I thought it was actually kinda sexy. Apparently it's fearing up the culturally tone deaf McCain followers because MICHELLE OBAMA gave BARACK OBAMA the FB on national television the night he clinched the democratic nomination. It was tender, intimate and appropriate. As my son said, "You know, you can't rehearse that. You gotta know how to do it."

The fist bump is not something new nor is it a secret handshake of Islamic fundamentalists. Yes, it came up from the hip hop streets, but long ago it matriculated into the lily white suburbs, where it is a favorite gesture shared by teenagers, especially boys on sports teams.

A friend who is not a teenager but a grown man gave this analysis of the fist bump shared by the Obamas. "You knew he was gonna get laid that night." That's probably what's most threatening to the right. Oh, please, more fist bumps for all.

I was writing all day. When I wasn't writing I was watering my poor plants. The petunias out front are all but fried to a crisp. It's so sad. Out back is a little better, but the hydrangeas are hatin' the heat. We also drove out to Lincoln's Cottage on the grounds of the Old Soldiers' Home to see where Lincoln - and several other presidents - went to escape the heat back in the days before A/C and Camp David. It's very interesting and worth a visit. The drive is about 15-20 minutes from Georgetown. You can get more information here.

SATURDAY, JUNE 7 ... Attention all Georgetowners. Do check out the revitalized Griffin Market at P and 29th. I'd heard from neighbors that the new neighbors had transformed it from a sketchy deli into an amazing Italian market and, guess what? They are right. Stopped in today for the first time and right away could smell the change. The scent of fresh cooking, fresh herbs and onions and meats and pasta. Also, a great selection of Italian wines. The owners used to work for ROBERTO DONNA, and got out of the restaurant biz and into the market biz and, it seems, we in Georgetown are the beneficiaries. I brought home some fresh Tuscan bread and tomato salad, plus attractive arugula and a panini. I'll be back for much more over time.

Listened to clips of HRC's speech. When she "endorsed" Obama it sounded like she was on sedatives. Very flat. No smile in her voice. Maybe it played better on TV. Maybe she smiled. I don't know. Is this now over? Nah. She'll own the Sunday shows tomorrow, and a chunk of Monday's breakfast shows, and then maybe it will begin to wind down. Nonetheless, the media will be in shock withdrawal from the Clinton presence.

EARLIER... People ask if I planned to watch HILLARY CLINTON on TV today as she talked to her supporters. Why would I do that? Especially in a heat wave?

Seriously, it will be retread in the media one thousand times before it's put to rest - and so I'll get the headlines - and, besides, Hillary's not going away. She'll never go away. (I can hear my HRC supporter friends asking, "Why should she, Carol? Why should she?) Speaking only for myself, I'm tired of her. This week of 24/7 Hillaryland put it over the top for me. I'm eager to focus on the future.

What the future means to me is that BARACK OBAMA and his camp need to find a way to embrace BILL CLINTON. Barack doesn't need Hillary, but he could use Bill and Bill needs him for his rehabiliation. Besides, hasn't Obama always been more the natural heir to what Clinton was about than was Hillary? Hillary's campaign was the result of Bill's indebtedness to her. Without him and Monica and HRC standing by him in his time of need and his guilt, there would have been no Senate seat and no presidential campaign. She didn't lose because of gender or age or pants suits. She lost because she ran a bad campaign, especially at the outset. It came together toward the end, but the end was too late, and it when it came together it was devisive, shrill and negative. And then, when it was over, she behaved badly. I don't think it's entirely her nature, but there's an insecure part of her nature that is easily co-opted by the dark forces in Hillaryland, and Hillaryland always has had more dark forces than Bill's side of Clinton, Inc. Note: it's more of Bill's positive-minded troops who jumped to Obama than any of Hillary's neo-neocons.

Like Bill, Obama is a natural, and though he can't come right out and say it - at the moment - I'm sure there are moments, privately, when Bill has admired the skills of the senator from Illinois, and thought how much he'd like to share a stage with him. So, I say, let Hillary go back to the Senate to torment poor HARRY REID and put Bill Clinton into the Obama campaign somehow. Send him out on the road. Let him sing his song. I bethca it would be more in key for Obama than it was for his wife.

Last night I attended a black tie dinner at the home of the Ambassador of Brazil. It was really really nice. Handsome residence, charming host in ANTONIO DE AQUIAR PATRIOTA. (Yes, the music during cocktails was samba.) The gentlemen on either side of me at dinner were Obama people. Neither believed Hillary will actually get out of the race. They believe she'll put on a public face of standing down, while privately her little evil machine will do what it can to trip up Obama and the party. It's paranoid thinking, but where Hillaryland is concerned not entirely inappropriate. Her troops will find a way to continue to do more for McCain than McCain will do for himself....at least in the dark arts.

FRIDAY, JUNE 6 .... The Q&A Cafe episode with TUCKER CARLSON as guest is now up on our YouTube channel here.

THURSDAY, JUNE 5 ... It does feel now like we can shift our attention to the historic general election about to unfold. While there is a flutter of turbulence still in the air among the democrats, there's also a sense of emerging calm with the announcement that HILLARY CLINTON will withdraw from the primary campaign this weekend. The race can become about BARACK OBAMA and JOHN MCCAIN and the very different visions of America that they offer in their candidacies. When we vote we essentially hire and fire, and sometimes rehire. In general in business when an employee performs badly, or the employee's team performs badly, a firing is in order. Every poll indicates America wants to fire the republicans and hire the democrats. For me, there's no reason not to fire the republicans, in the form of the Bush Administration and John McCain. That's what we do with adminsitrations when they don't serve in our interests.

Hear more about all of this today, from a conservative's point of view (but is he? is he really?) when MSNBC political analyst TUCKER CARLSON appears at The Q&A Cafe. Whatever you may think of Tucker's politics, I've been studying up on him and his personal story is interesting, and we'll get into along with all the other stuff about the campaigns and the personalities involved. Join us. Call JON MOSS at 202.338.2000. This is our next to last show before we take off for the summer. Yay.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 4 ... From my admittedly amateur perspective, this is what has to happen: BARACK OBAMA needs to assert himself as the leader of the democratic party. He has to deal with the Clintons and get them done with and move on. If you let bullies control the ball, they won't ever give it up. They know nothing else but to bully their way from one objective to the next. It's wasted time for positive-minded people. Bullies do themselves in over time because everyone becomes wise to them. The Clintons have a small coterie of zealots who won't give up regardless. These are people with empty lives, bankrupt goals, no self worth except for the selfish agenda of their own pockets. They want to bill the campaign big bucks for time served, write books, get speakers' fees. That's all.

Obama does not need Hillary on the ticket. If it has to be a woman, there are plent of other qualified women in American politics. My objection to Hillary was never based on her gender - it's her politics and her personality. It would be terrific to have a woman on the ticket, though I worry that might be too much change for the average voter. Maybe not. If it's the right person, the ticket will work.

The vocal minority of angry feminists who scream into TV cameras that they will vote for McCain over Obama are not democrats to begin with. They are just angry humans. In time, they would be angry with Hillary, too. The internal polls have showed that many Hillary voters would vote for Obama if he got the nod. That's the info that matters. Any woman who says she would vote for McCain and the republican platform has no self-respect, and obviously no children of the age who can go to war and be slaughtered.

It's a great moment in American history. The light should be shining on that. But Obama has to step up and assert himself. It's time.

Join us for a look at the historic political drama at tomorrow's Q&A Cafe featuring MSNBC political analyst TUCKER CARLSON. We still have a few seats. Phone JON MOSS at 202.338.2000. Tuckere's just back from the Panetta Conference in Monterey, CA, where he appeared wit BILL RICHARDSON, among others. The word out of the conference? That BARACK OBAMA will be the next president of the United States.

TUESDAY, JUNE 3 ... A great historic night. Wonderful speech from BARACK OBAMA in St. Paul, MN, as he officially became the presumptive democratic nominee for president. If you missed, try to catch on TV rerun. Or read it here, though watching is such an uplifting experience. He was magnanimous, in stark contrast to HILLARY CLINTON's earlier speech which was miserly, ungracious, and in keeping with the tone of her campaign, basically angry.

EARLIER... Fasten your seatbelts for a night that will go down in the history books. There are parties around town for supporters of BARACK OBAMA, particularly at the K Street Lounge, but for me the best place to savor this occasion is at home with my son in front of the all-American tube, watching the events unfold - the speeches, the panoply, the moments of joy and sadness. Plus, what better prep for the interview Thursday with MSNBC political analyst TUCKER CARLSON?

The day is shapring up somewhat as expected, with super delegates coming out for Obama about every hour on the hour, with the pace quickening as the clock winds down to this evening's SD and MT results, appearances by HILLARY CLINTON in NY and BARACK OBAMA in Minnesota. You feel the democratic party trying to will itself into unity and hoping the force will rope in the Clinton troops. Talk also that HRC is open to the Veep slot. This is a tough call. If it were only her, and no baggage, it might work. But what about the baggage? That is an issue and it does matter? Where's the "change" in an old school choice like Clinton? And though Obama could trust her, he could never trust the forces of her Hillaryland posse, who are like letting in the neo-cons.

It would be a nice touch if Clinton appeared in St. Paul tonight with Obama to give him her endorsement, but it would be out of character for Hillaryland. She's got a first tier posse who fan her worst emotions, and the worst one of all is "hell hath no fury..." That's the part of her personality that gave us "the vast right wing conspiracy." It's what we need to move beyond.

We've all experienced tinges of revenge. If you let it, it can be a sea anchor, which is useful in a storm but counter-productive in a light chop with a good breeze. Under the right circumstances, Obama could be that breeze for her. What's troubling is that her inner circle made Obama, for Hillary, into a surrogate for BILL CLINTON, and just as Bill did her wrong and betrayed her, Obama is spun as having done the same.

Today is the equivalent of that day back in Monica-gate when Bill, Hillary and CHELSEA CLINTON headed for Martha's Vineyard and walked across the lawn to the helicopter with Chelsea in between, holding their hands but keeping HRC from killing the HornDog in Chief. Who's gonna be the Chelsea for Obama and Clinton camps? That's who's needed now. What will he need to offer her for appeasement?

She also could do nothing. Give a speech tonight, suspend her campaign, and keep a core staff who work 24/7 to turn delegates and superdelegates. An insurgent movement, working toward an upset at the convention. Again, this comes from that Hillaryland posse who use her the way the Neo-cons used the Bush Administration to achieve their goals with Iraq.

I like the first scenario, though - HRC shows up in St. Paul, a surprise guest, and helps to bring down the house that will host the GOP at their convention. Take that, all republican hopefuls.

Should be a very interesting day. Almost too interesting.

EARLIER...Rumors have been denied. Sigh. Relief, once again. I talked to the landlords. They say they are not doing a deal with Burberry. See below to make sense of this comment.

MONDAY, JUNE 2 ... If you have a reservation for TUCKER CARLSON at The Q&A Cafe this Thursday now is a good time to reconfirm. If you don't have a rez, it's a good idea to get on the waiting list. Either way, the man to talk to is JON MOSS at 202.338.2000. Tucker's appearance couldn't be more timely. This is a historic week in American politics - either way. If BARACK OBAMA seals the democratic nomination, it's a landmark; if HILLARY CLINTON decides not to concede, or opts to "suspend" her campaign and wait to fight more at the convention, it's still a record breaker.

But beware of Fox News and their drumbeat that Obama "must" put Clinton on the ticket. The right can't imagine this race without HRC in the mix, because she is all the republicans have - really - to galvanize their troops and get them to the polls. What would PAT BUCHANAN be able to swoon for if Hillary bows out? He loves her. He's said he loves her. Maybe he should be with her tomorrow night when she gives her announced "speech" in New York.

Take a moment today to check out my column on New York Social Diary.com, right here.

SUNDAY, JUNE 1 .... Not to toot my own trumpet (tho, if i don't, who will?), but received this nice email today from a top trial lawyer (and neighbor) who is a fan of The Q&A Cafe:

"We watched your show last night with Mark Penn, and loved it. I mentioned to XX how impressed I was and how terrific you are at asking questions--great, open-ended questions, how focus is on the guest not the examiner. Nice work."

You, too, can watch the Penn interview tonight at 11 pm on NewsChannel 8. Oh, please. Do watch.

SATURDAY, MAY 31 ... Made a visit over to the Wardman Park Marriott today to check out the DNC's Rules and Bylaws Committee gathering and, in particular, the "protests" outside. The protest was neither large nor fiery and most of the participants seemed to be having a good time, listening to speeches and relaxing in the warm weather. Not sure what happened when the storms hit. That may have washed out the protest movement.

Inside the hotel, people were gathered in clusters before any available TV, watching the live broadcast of the meeting that was underway in one of the adjacent conference rooms. Observers and press were able to get in to watch the meeting as it happened, but most others seemed content to watch on TV. If anything, it is the heart of our political process at work and live for all to see on national television. This kind of stuff is usually off the public radar. It is authentically watching how the sausage is made.

Again, the mood was more upbeat than angry. Maybe there is a resignation setting in that the primary campaign is legitmately almost over. At least outside the DNC meeting. Inside, who knows where it will go. Many passionate agendas at play around the table...and they are democrats, a party not known for agreement.

EARLIER...From JODY WARRICK's interview with CIA Chief MICHAEL HAYDEN in The Washington Post:

"On balance, we are doing pretty well," (Hayden) said, ticking down a list of accomplishments: "Near strategic defeat of al-Qaeda in Iraq. Near strategic defeat for al-Qaeda in Saudi Arabia. Significant setbacks for al-Qaeda globally -- and here I'm going to use the word 'ideologically' -- as a lot of the Islamic world pushes back on their form of Islam," he said.

But, in light of the confessions of SCOTT MCCLELLAN, can we believe anything said by anyone in the Bush Administration? Do we wait for Hayden's book to find out he was coerced to give this upbeat report and, in fact, felt the opposite?

FRIDAY, MAY 30 ... Well, tomorrow the '08 primary campaign gets its AL SHARPTON moment, when hundreds, possibly thousands, of angry feminist democrats (is that redundant?) storm the Wardman Park Hotel, where the DNC's Rules and Bylaws Committee will meet to hash out the Florida-Michigan vote drama. This could be ripped from the pages of TOM WOLFE'S "Bonfire of the Vanities." I think I must go check it out, simply to photograph the moment if nothing else. Will history call it HILLARY CLINTON's last stand or the beginning of her insurgency? Whatever, it will get live wall to wall coverage on all the cable channels. Bra-burning redux, anyone?

Okay. Maybe I'm being extreme, but it's difficult to approach this stage of the democratic race with anything but an appreciation of the absurd.

EARLIER...When I walk I listen to a radio that allows me to pick-up TV stations (a feature that won't be possible when television goes fully digital), and this morning one of the breakfast shows hit on a subject that always gets me churning. They focused on women and alcohol, using three different women as guinea pigs as each drank different beverages - one had a Cosmopolitan, the other a couple of glasses of champagne and the third, a couple of glasses of white wine. The woman who drank the white wine tested the highest for alcohol in her blood, on a police-administered breath-o-lyzer, at .08.

Now, here's the part that bothers me. They did not report the alcohol content of the wine she drank. Yes, metabolism matters, alcohol tolerance matters, whether the drinker has consumed a full meal matters, body size matters, but the alcohol content of wine has jumped alarmingly high and drinkers rarely think to check before they accept a glass of wine at a bar or a party or wherever. One bottle of wine (usually French or Italian) will have an alcohol content of 12.5 to 13%, which is all it rationally needs to be. On the other hand, another bottle of wine, most often American or Australian, will have an alcohol content of from 14.5 to 16.5%. That's a lot of alcohol per one drink. (It's like a straight vodka.) Also, white wine has a higher sugar content than red wine, and sugar boosts the impact of alcohol.

Why would I know details like this? Well, I have an abiding interest in what I put in my system, and have for years. It started when I first married Howard and he would bring home a magazine called "Restaurants & Instiutions." Idly thumbing through it I was stunned to learn how much food available to restaurants was pre-fab, pre-packaged, manufactured and basically fake. That was in the late 70s. At CBS News "Nightwatch," where I was a producer, I sought opportunities to do shows about food and wine. It was a speciality. Personally, quality was always my rule, and so I liked to expose ways the food industry could cut quality to lower prices but at the same time fool consumers into buying garbage. You'd be amazed how much short-cutted junk is available to restaurants, who then serve it to you.

Many years ago, Howard introduced me to the expression "hot" in reference to wine. That's the term used when a wine has a high alcohol content. This happens when producers rush the wine, don't give it long enough to age (and thus reduce the alcohol content). It's more profitable to rush wine to the market. Sell it fast, make more money. Also, especially among younger people, there's a desire to get buzzed faster. A hot wine means one glass can get you as high as two. Also, cheap wine tends to be "hotter" because it is mass produced. However, there are some very exclusive, high end, boutique wines that are very high alcohol. For example, Marquis Philips awesome Integrity is about 16.5%.

So, you see, you may have only a glass of wine and believe you are okay to drive, but then the police stop you and you have an illegal blood alcohol level and get busted, and you are scratching your head and wondering, "how did that happen?" That's how. Always check the alcohol content of wine, especially American and Australian brands. It's in the fine print, but of big importance - unless you have a designated driver or don't mind hangovers.

 

THURSDAY, MAY 29 ... A fun day spent mostly focused on lacrosse. This morning I joined some of the nominees for the Tewaaraton Trophy for a tour of Washington Nationals Stadium. It was generously arranged by Nats president STAN KASTEN and his staff. All the women's nominees (DANA DOBBIE and KELLY KASPER of the University of Maryland, CHRISTY FINCH and HANNAH NIELSEN of Northwestern, and KATIE ROWAN of Syracuse) and one of the men's nominees (MIKE LEVEILLE of NCAA champ Syracuse), plus some of the parents, took the tour, which included a lot of glimpses behind the scenes. As athletes who have known a lot of stadiums and a lot of locker rooms they were particularly blown away by the home team locker room. They also enjoyed taking turns pitching in the bullpen.

Later, the group took cabs to Nathans where they had lunch in the bar amidst all the bits of lacrosse memorabilia adorning the walls and ceiling. They promised to make some contributions. Gloves, gloves - we want gloves. I told Mike we would really love some 'Cuse gloves.

The Tewaaraton trophies were awarded this evening at a dinner at the American Indian Museum. Nielsen won the women's award and Leveille won the men's. I expected PAUL RABIL of Johns Hopkins would win but was delighted when Mike's name was called. He's a charming young man, low key but focused, and a remarkable player. He scored at least one point per game in 53 straight games! He's been drafted by the pros', to play for Chicago, where his older brother already is on the team.

The Tewaaraton dinner is not a celebrity event by Washington standards. There are not a lot of boldface power names. But if you follow lacrosse, particularly college lacrosse, it's all the biggest names in the sport, and that makes it a star-studded evening, with the little boys asking for autographs from the big boys, who happily obliged.

Also honored were the top Native American high school players, male and female, as well as the 6 young men and 6 young women who were named to the Baltimore-Washington region high school All-Tewaaraton team.

In the full disclosure department, I am proudly a member of the board of the Tewaaraton Foundation. For me and my fellow board members it was a special evening. Worth noting: the food, prepared by the museum's kitchens, was based on Native American recipes and was delicious. The buffalo was particularly popular.

Caught only the first segment of SCOTT MCCLELLAN'S Today show appearance and he did not appear or sound like someone who's body was invaded by an alien. The Administration assault squad has been saying "this isn't the Scott I know," or "these aren't Scott's words," and, well, maybe he's not the Scott they knew but he appears fairly comfortable in his skin and comfortable with the thinking behind the words he's speaking. The questions were essentially boilerplate - what else can you do in the first interview? - but he handled them and did not come across as heavily rehearsed.

But on that one note, let me say this: there's a bad habit publisher's teach their authors that has got to go in the trash bin, and that's repeatedly saying "in my book, in my book, in my book." It's obnoxious. Moreover, it makes an interview that could be an evergreen into something very leaden and dated, because books have a short shelf life. It's not necessary. Anybody who is watcing knows he's pushing a book. One or two references to "in my book" are sufficient. Otherwise, let it be.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 28 ... In all the dust up over the SCOTT MCCLELLAN book - "What Happened" - we recalled that VALERIE PLAME WILSON talked about Scott and an early leak of his book when she appeared at The Q&A Cafe. It's an interesting little moment and worth taking another look at now. The clip is here. She talks about McClellan at 1:51 into the segment.

TUESDAY, MAY 27 ... He won't "surrender" in Iraq? He won't surrender? That's JOHN MCCAIN speaking. What planet is he on? Not Earth. Surrender? We surrendered a while back. Now it's just a matter of getting our soldiers out without sacrificing the entire American military. McCain's current image is as a candidate riding the hands in a lobbyist mosh pit. I'm sure there are people who take him seriously, and I know some of them, but are they hearing him with two ears? He's a "maverick" in the Blazing Saddles model.

McCain's campaign appears caught in a storm of confusion. He's not my candidate, but still I'm curious why he hasn't called in MIKE MURPHY to try to save the day?

I finally watched the second half of "Recount." I began to watch it Sunday night and fell asleep in the middle. Part of my disinterest was due to HILLARY CLINTON having wrapped herself in the film. She claimed it was her message re the Florida discounted primary vote. I wonder if she watched all the way to the end. If she had, she would notice that the film was ultimately about knowing when to stand down gracefully. That's the message of the film. Yes, there's a lot of democratic and republican chaos, and the visage of a supremely organized and heat-seeking JAMES BAKER, but the words at the end were from AL GORE to his staff, advising them that there's a time for war and a time for peace. It made me wistful for what might have been. (I doubt I'll feel that way about the Clintons,
but I never say never. Well...with them, maybe.)


EUGENE ROBINSON has another excellent column today. Every word is smart, but I liked this paragraph best of all:

"A woman uniformly described by her close friends as genuine, principled and sane has been reduced to citing the timing of Robert F. Kennedy's assassination as a reason to stay in the race -- an argument that is ungenuine, unprincipled and insane. She vows to keep pushing, perhaps all the way to the convention in August. What manner of disintegration is yet to come?"

One guess who he is writing about?

MONDAY, MAY 26 ... Checking back in after a brief holiday break. Relaxed, ate well, got some sun, exercised, read a book, saw a movie, hung out.

These first sentences of the New York Times lead editorial this morning were just perfect:

"President Bush opposes a new G.I. Bill of Rights. He worries that if the traditional path to college for service members since World War II is improved and expanded for the post-9/11 generation, too many people will take it.

He is wrong, but at least he is consistent. Having saddled the military with a botched, unwinnable war, having squandered soldiers’ lives and failed them in so many ways, the commander in chief now resists giving the troops a chance at better futures out of uniform. He does this on the ground that the bill is too generous and may discourage re-enlistment, further weakening the military he has done so much to break.

So lavish with other people’s sacrifices, so reckless in pouring the national treasure into the sandy pit of Iraq, Mr. Bush remains as cheap as ever when it comes to helping people at home."

Please note: JOHN MCCAIN is on the same page with the Bush Administration. The dems really aren't far off when they claim a McCain presidency will be a Bush "third term."

We know HILLARY CLINTON has co-opted what's media-defined as the "white woman over 50" vote. They are portrayed as a pants suit brigade of feminist zealots who, we're told, share a deep vein of anger. Its a definite negative image of babyboomers and aging and adult women. So, I was delightfully surprised by the new "Indiana Jones" movie which stars a 65 year old man, HARRISON FORD, and a 56 year old woman, KAREN ALLEN, who are smart, active, happy, and getting it on. Karen does not look like a botox needle has been anywhere near her face, and it's refreshing. Ford looks 65 but fit. It is possible to be 65 and fit. So, this was a nice turn of events. We know in real life Ford is not getting it on with a 56 year old, but a much younger actress, and Karen Allen probably became unemployable in movies when she turned 50 (45? 40? 35?), and she now has a satisfying life outside of the film world, but, hey, maybe this will start a trend.

Very sad to read of the death of director SYDNEY POLLACK. To this day, if his "Out of Africa" is on TV I stop what I'm doing and watch. I love that movie. Everybody loved "Tootsie." He did so much good directing work, and acting, too, including in the recent "Michael Clayton," in which he was very good. He was 73 years old.

SATURDAY, MAY 24 ... I know I said this holiday weekend for me was not about food but remembrance, still ... my late father who flew paratroopers over Normandy would want me to think at a little bit about food.

A stop by Cannon's this morning discovered these delights: hard shell Maryland crabs ready for steaming and carry out, fresh live soft shell crabs from the Chesapeake (tiny, too, the way they are their sweetest); live Louisiana crawfish (gorgeous, I might add), fresh picked jumbo lump crabmeat from North Carolina and, as always, lobsters for taking home live or having Cannon's steam them for you. Plus all kinds of attractive fresh fish for grilling or other m